It's been awhile, I didn't hang out with friends. I admit I hang out with selective friends only, who can control my mood, who cheer me up to the max.

Speaking of friends, it reminds me of some friends who came into my attention, maybe because of what they did or simply because of their nature attitude. 

Friend #1

He was a friend of mine, since 2006 BUT we never met due to boundaries matter. He is staying somewhere in the South of the world, and I am here hanging around equatorial country ^o^
Well.. He is a good friend, and we have been sharing secrets for ages! I can trust him, maybe because the chance to breach my secret is low since we never met. We used to call each other, cracked jokes and teasing each other. Last 2 yrs ago, he told me he crushed on me, and asked if we could be more than friends. I was like......Omigod! @$#%$&%^&$#%@.. lol.. thats secret language for expressing my feeling or excitement, or nervous..well, I couldn't force myself.

Friend #2
He was simply crushed on me since the day we worked together. Well, what could I say if my magnetic attraction was damn too strong to attract him? Dont blame me fore being charming >o< however, I couldn't help him as well. It just end that way.. Now he was nowhere to be found,and our story remained secret forever..

Friend #3
I thought me and her could be BESTFRIEND, but I forget that nothin remain permanent in this world.. including best friend..I couldn't help it when she was sarcastically not helping me and support me and ignore me... We seldom meet again. maybe she was fed up of my preach and advice..She has changed! 

Human changed including me as well!

Date: 27th Mar 2012
Time: 5:30 pm

Beauty With Brain Vs Beauty Without Brain

BEAUTY WITH BRAIN Vs BEAUTY WITHOUT BRAIN

While feeding food into my mouth on one fine lunch moment, my superior was requesting me to find right candidate for Work Site Supervisor for upcoming project. I response sarcastically, “Which gender do you prefer? If female, I would choose someone less beauty than me.” 

“Why so? Let me and the rest of the guys screen for the female candidates. You can screen on their mentality and educational wise but we guys will screen on her physical appearance, right?” replied my superior, winking to my male colleague.

I just giggled and thinking the best answers to response to his naughty screening on female candidates. Sometimes I’m hoping to have another female colleague to against him in healthy debate session. But I couldn’t expect that person is outspoken like me, who has guts and confidence to shield myself.

“Okay, fine! I will find someone beauty with brain for you.” 

It seemed like my simple statement has grabbed his attention.

 “Beauty with brain. Very interesting… I like the term.” 

I could take his words as compliment coz it made my day. Even though I know getting candidate with such criteria is not easy! As I believe there are two types of BEAUTY with BRAIN females in this world- someone born as smart-ass (smart-thinking educationally and technically and fully understand the reason to live), and someone trained to be smart-ass (which could be developed after gaining some experiences). 

And for females who have BEAUTY without BRAIN is divided into two as well – those pretty females who born stupid by nature (educationally, technically and spiritually) and those beauties who NEVER FULLY used their brain to think, to understand and to evaluate and yet to solve the problems.

I fall on second type of BEAUTY without BRAIN as I think I only used up my 7% of my thinking skill, 3% of flirting skill, 50% of leadership skill, 30% of technical skill and 10% of playful skill. Silly…!!

Some people thought it has to be clever enough to be smart-ass person. LOL! As for me, the words clever, brilliant, smart and intelligent give different meaning. 

Clever – Someone who has wise ideas of manipulating the enemy.

Brilliant –Someone who comes up with outstanding and innovative ideas.

Smart – Someone who is not selfish to share and contribute his good ideas in smart / reverse way.

Intelligent – Someone who practice humble life with sharp mind.

DATE: 21TH MARCH 2012

TIME: 22:29 PM

sneak out ~

Gosh! Can't believe I am watching LEGION: The Final of Exorcism in my office now where no one is watching me >o< the first 30 mins movie, explaining an exorcist being expelled from the church just because he applied exorcism preach on his wife, his intended to cure her..but failed! so he did his own research and found one critical victim possessed by demon..bla bla..

What a day! i get insulted yesterday morning.. by parent who never understand me. Who is expecting to have SON rather than bad daughter like me. I was wondering how bad I am since the day i was born. Not saying I am good enough to impress them but I need appreciation at least, just like they expecting 'THANK YOU' from their lovely kids!

 Honestly I feel comfortable when I am outside of my own house. oh my.. I almost forgot I have family function this upcoming tuesday..something abt revealing supernatural thingy in our body..it sounds creepy,damn creepy and I dont expect a stranger to discover that from me! 

adios!

DATE: 20.03.2012.

TIME: 16:33 PM

Randommm

17^th march 2012

I never thought of watching movie since 4 years ago in cinema until today comes. Maybe it’s because I had some bad memories so I refused to watch in cinema ever since.  Or because a guy offer himself to watch with me, simple! Wow, it’s John Carter 3D. I didn’t feel any excitement until the movie started. I tried my best to stay cool. Some couples are there as well, enjoying the adventurous movie with me. 

My problem is I can’t keep my mouth shut. Probably, I am talkative by nature. So, I don’t stop talking, chucking, smiling (even though to myself), laughing or whispering.

Another problem is, I easily lost focus and not tentative enough to understand something deeply. My superior always uses this weakness to against me. I don’t mind. I will improve myself, even if it takes some times.

My mom always scold me for reaching home late in dawn time. I seem like too stubborn to listen. Maybe some day I need to be sent to rehab *chuckles* O_o

Bab 10... ^o^

Dah masuk Bab 10 kisah aku, tetapi  aku masih tidak tahu cara terbaik menerangkan kepada gadis ini yang aku tak mahu perkara yang sama berlaku kepada kakakku terjadi pada dirinya. Huhh tapi tiada siapa dapat melawan kedegilan perempuan ini!

Aku ingat everything is over! Dia sudah give up dan buat hal sendiri.. Tiba-tiba semalam dia cakap bukan-bukan pulak. Dia boleh tanya aaku why can't we be together? Aku dah cakap terang-terang, "I have no money, I am not working. You deserve better guy."dia tak reti jugak!

Ohh perempuan, faham la sikit. Orang dah tak suka, tak payah terhegeh-hegeh. It's not worthed la. Setakat muka biasa-biasa, bila-bila masa I boleh dapat. Masalahnya sekarang, aku belum terbuka hati nak bercinta, ada faham? Dahlah stress as jobless belum habis lagi, ni nak tambah stres lain pulak.

"I have one question for you. Please give me an honest answer." Dah berkali-kali aku tanya soalan ni. "Why do you like me? Why I am the chosen one? Is it because of my good looking feature?" Aduhh.. Bodohnya soalan. Itu riakk namanya.

Dia menjawab sambil mengerdipkan matanya beberapa kali. Nak tunjuk muka seposen lah tu. "No.. I like you for no reason." 

Dia boleh bagi jawapan macam tu? Oh God, please help me. Aku bukan nak dengar lawak bodohlah. Itu bukan jawapan yang aku nak.. Aku rasa macam nak.. hentak je kepala aku kat dinding kalis peluru ni. Kenapalah aku jumpa perempuan ni kat dunia ni?

Gurl! Kau tahu tak, you are too damn good for bad person like me. That's why I don't deserve you! Dah dual language aku pakai, entah bahasa apa lagi yang boleh buat dia paham.

Yang buat aku geram sangat tu bila semua yang berlaku between us ni dia boleh buat buku pulak. Siap show-off kat aku lagi. Dia boleh tanya lagi, "Okay tak story kita? Kalau ada yang kurang, pandai-pandai lah tambah sendiri ok." hey ingat ni sambal ayam masak cili api ke main tambah-tambah pulak? Dia ingat aku dengan dia macam Prince William dan Kate ke buat kompilasi Love Story. Setakat Brad Pitt dengan Angelina Jolie aku boleh terima lagi.

 Satu lagi dia buat aku menjerit to the MAX (dalam hati je la) bila semua monolog untuk karaktek aku dalam dia tu beza sangat daripada my real feeling. Bila aku rasa sedih, dia tulis watak aku marah pulak! Nonsense apa ni? Arghh! Aku ingat selama ini dia lah satu-satunya makhluk yang amat memahami perasaanku. Tidakkkkkkkkkkk... Aku buat push-up 100 kali lagi baik! 

Oh lelaki!

Oh lelaki! Memang aku degil. Memang aku buat-buat tak faham. Biarlah aku bermain sendiri dengan angan-anganku walaupun aku tahu takkan tercapai! Satu je aku nak tengok, I want you to be happy always. I want to see you smile again.

I will always miss your smiles. I know my over- reacting sometimes annoys you, in fact all the time! But what can I do, because that's the only way to seek for your attention. 

Dear, I don't expect any good response from you. I never stop you forgetting me neither leaving me. You buat hal sendiri but I will never stop caring about you. Damn! I can never stop thinking about you even if I want<3 <3 <3