13th May, double lazy monday

Aquarina: Far Away- Nickelback Lyrics: ~ Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore... ~ So far away, far away for far too long..

13^th May

Lazy Monday comes again! I’m late to work for… many times. Hopefully today’s going well. God will bless me & my family, and all the lucks are coming through my life today :D ahh it’s good to tell myself with some positive words in the morning. I believe the positive vibes can smooth our journey..

On the way walking down the street to my office building, I was thinking about the last thing I shared with sam. About a friend of mine who always use me for his own benefit (it’s not friend for benefit English series, anyway but it’s for real). We used to go out for lunch or dinner before (of course in a group) as I never agree to go out just with him, as if going out for a date.. he’s around 30s and divorcee. So i don’t wanna give a chance for the public to think that I’m one of his girlfriend! I came to realized that He always calls me up whenever he has no friend or girlfriend around but I’m not desperate enough to go out with him, anyway. His life quite miserable, but he shouldn’t take this chance to flirt with other girls when his divorce issue is not settled yet. If I were in his position, just fix the stuff and after all he has 2 year old son to take care of.

I’m thinking, if I were in that stage where I have small child, will I be a good mother? I could imitate what my mother did to raise me up (at some points) but I would probably give choices for my kids as well. I remember when I told my grandma and mother about my first dream job to be policewoman, they simply disagreed and give a ‘no’ answer. Whyyyy? They just said that as a girl, I should get feminine job.. what? But when I asked what sort of feminine works they referring to.. is it nurse? Air hostess? Or… that’s all in my mind. Then mom replied, ‘nurse? No.. you will be away from me and stay in hostel. I won’t let it happen? Air hostess? No.. you will expose to social issue, all the bad people are there…’ I was like… %^&Y$##^%^&&* turned so grumpy and left the topic until i grew up.

Last few nights, I had random topic with sam., about inherited genes… lol, he is so lucky to have nice hair color which inherited from his grandma, I don’t know how to explain.. so I told him that she will look soo adorable if his future daughter inherited it. Yet, he told me it’s depend on the genetic. And he wished to have max of 2 kids, pair of girl and boy… but I never share how many kids would I have to have, haha………. Secret :P

 the modern technology are so great which we can select which gender we want for the unborn baby… I’m afraid that my future daughter would imitate me a lot! :s my partner will have double headache as he might see a ‘copy and paste’ / so-called my cloner messing the house.. haha.. good to imagine stuff, but training baby boy is quite fun, too though. I don’t know.. it’s 2 stages to go… get the right partner, get married and get baby. (wait..it’s 3 stages! Lol) in short, get the quality partner to have quality baby with quality brain.. hahaha sounds so perfect.. hmmm how can I find that…***searching***

12th May, Mother's day

12^TH MAY

WOKE UP AROUND 7:30 AM IN THE MORNING AS MY FIRST ACTIVITY WAS TO HAVE BREAKFAST WITH MY MOM. YAWN!  I JUST SLEPT FOR 5 HOURS. I DIDN’T HAVE SO MUCH ACTIVITY TODAY. LONG DRIVE TO FLAT, RIMBA AREA WHERE I STAY IN THE CITY BY 1130 AM AND REACHED BY 130 PM. MY LIL SIS IS AROUND AS SHE IS COMING BACK HOME FOR 3 MONTHS SEMESTER BREAK, SO I THINK MOM IS NOT SO LONELY.

I HAD NICE LUNCH WITH MY COUSIN SIS, WHO IS MY ROOMmATE IN FLAT AS WELL AND WE SHARED SOME STORIES TOO. WE ARE VERY CLOSE, AND CLOSER THAN MY SIBLINGS EVEN THOUGH WE ARE 2 YEARS GAP BUT WE GET ALONG SO WELL SINCE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. I WAS HER SENIOR AND SHE’S MY JUNIOR AND ALWAYS ACTED AS ELDER SIS TO PROTECT HER IN SCHOOL WHEN SHE WAS DISTURBED BY THE NAUGHTY GUYS.

WE REACHED HOME BY 3PM AFTER WE DROPPED BY SUPERMARKET TO TOP UP SOME HOME STOCK. WE HAD GREAT TIME TOGETHER BY WATCHING MALAY MOVIE AND KOREAN SERIES UNTIL EVENING. NOW IM JUST LISTENING TO SONGS AND UPDATE MY JOURNAL… THINKING TO CONTINUE MY WRITING ABOUT THE NEW STORY BUT I LOST MY INSPIRATION… ALL THIS WHILE, SINCERELY HE HAD INSPIRED ME TO WRITE… I TOLD HIM THAT I MIGHT USE SOME OF HIS CHARACTER OR BEHAVIOR OR SIMPLY OUR MEMORIES IN MY STORY LINE AND HE TOTALLY DIDN’T MIND IT. AND WHOEVER GUY WHO COULD INSPIRE ME TO CONTINUE MY HALF WAY WRITING WOULD BE MORE THAN SPECIAL TO ME…

BEING A WRITER IS ONE OF MY DREAM JOB, I HAVE SOME ADDRESSES OF PUBLISHERS IN MALAYSIA, AND I COULD TRY TO SEND MY MANUSCRIPT TO THEM FOR REVIEW… THE POINT IS, I HAVEN’T FINISHED THE MANUSCRIPT YET. THE STORY NEEDS ME TO MASTER MY KNOWLEDGE IN AMNESIA SICKNESS, THE PROCEDURES TO DETECT / CURE IT, AND HAVE TO KNOW SOME MEDICAL TERMS TOO… HMM JUST HAVE TO FIND MY GOOGLE GUY AND HAVE DEEP SCIENCE KNOWLEDGE ON THIS TOO.

PLAN TO WRITE TWISTED ENDING STORY BUT IT WON’T BE SURPRISED ANYMORE IF I EXPOSE IT HERE… SOME SURFERS STARTED TO SEND ME MESSAGE EVER SINCE I JOINED COUCHSURFING NET FEW DAYS AGO. I AM SO GLAD TO BE TOUR GUIDE FOR TRAVELERS WHO WILLING TO COME OVER TO MY COUNTRY PROVIDED THE VACATION DAY IS MY OFF DAYS AND I DO NOT HAVE CLASSES. BUT I CAN’T OFFeR COUCH AT THIS MOMENT AS I DON’T EXPECT TO STAY WITH THE STRANGER (EXCEPT IF I HAVE ANOTHER RENTAL HOUSE AND I STAY SEPARATELY IN UNCLE’S HOUSE). IT’S BECAUSE I DON’T FEEL SO COMFORTABLE TO SHOW MY CHARACTER OR HOW SEXY I COULD BE AT HOME TO STRANGER COZ I’M SURE I COULD BE HIS ‘DINNER’ ANYTIME IF WE STAY TOGETHER.. LOL. 

Everytime-Simple Plan Lyrics

How I wish I could go back.. just for one more day with you :) :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKpWPcOpzFw

11th May, silent saturday

11^th may..

Hey ya.. so lazy to wake up early but I had office works to do today. Oh ya, sam told me he got a job last night.. shall ask him more. How I wish I could join him to pangkor island today… don’t tell me more about your exciting journey okay because I will turn jealous L you told me last night that you read my blog :o now you can read my mind :P u are their 'harry potter' but you are my 'ironman' ..haha :D

The reason I wrote about amnesia (not actually written by me coz I get all the info from some nice website) was, my crush had amnesia before.. more to concussion which gave him memory loss for quite some times when he had serious head injury due to car accident. So, I planned to write nice story related to that that’s why I posted on my blog so I never lost the info.. 

Spent my afternoon by fetching my sweet lil cousin from nursery today and she couldn’t stop talking to me at home.. mom called today and asking if I go home today in my hometown. I haven’t decided yet, but planned to since she asked me so it means she needs my companion. It’s 520pm now and I’m still in office w/o getting OT.

Have long drive later to hometown which takes 1.5 hr journey… 

6th May, lazy Monday ~

6^th May

I woke up by 3 a.m today & get my butt off the bed and took fresh shower to wipe away my last night tears. God! Can’t hide my panda eyes..

Read Sam’s morning text to wake me up as soon as I get back into my dorm. even though we’re just next door neighbor . You’re kind enough.. Aziman bro, the taxi driver has been waiting outside of the hotel since 4:00 am. I am so lucky enough to meet him as my taxi driver as he looks so kind hearted. Sam helped to carry my luggage and passed it to Aziman bro.

Goodbye Ryokan, goodbye Sam and goodbye my roommates. I hope to come over again, and  discover some parts in Penang. Thanks a lot for providing the best hospitality in my life (so far).

Aziman bro, he brought me to roam some parts of Georgetown in the dawn which I didn’t discover with the two cupids last night. He insisted to have morning breakfast in Nasi Kandar Pelita, one of the best restaurant in the town.. I am still upset about last night but just tried my best to balance my emotion infront of the stranger. Surprisingly, he treats me the breakfast which I should be the one who paid. So kind enough and I can’t forget it forever.

Finally we reached Penang airport by 5 am. I mistaken my boarding time as my arrival time in KL by one hour late, fuhh.. luckily he sent me early so I could catch my boarding time to KL.

Reached KL by 8:15 am, and rushed to get taxi to send me over to Hotel Warisan where my two friends were staying. We explored little india in KL city and got back to hotel by 2:30 pm. I got my nap sleep for 2 hours then we rushed to KLCC to visit Aquaria. Heh.. the taxi driver named by Syam seemed like interested on me. But, yeah… I don’t give a damn. LOL. We returned to hotel by 9 pm as we have to rush to airport by 5 am in the next morning.

What a day……………. 

8th May, Rushing Wednesday ~

8^th May

7:00 a.m? Gosh!! I was late to work.. It’s my first day after my vacation trip. Actually, I am half hearted go to work today, feel like wanna continue another day on my bed.. Partly because I get trauma for getting blame again by my boss’s wife. It’s just ruin my whole day if it gonna happen today.

Lalala.. I drove happily to work and reached by 8:45a.m which is late by one hour and 15 minutes. Haha.. good thing about this boss, he won’t complain much, as long as I get my work done and another reason might be because I’m his only assistant so, if I say NO then no one else will do the works. Lol.. Another reason could be…. My charmy look. Haha! C’mon, who gonna scold innocence sweet looking girl just like me? Ah Just kidding..

Sam! You are such a great friend, but yeah as I told you… never try to understand me okay, otherwise you will either get crazy or fall in love with me, just like other typical guys who fall even on first met. I hate that! Why they easily offering serious relationship even on first meet? I don’t easily open my heart, that’s why I could stand to love that one person since the last 3 years.. Even though it’s not worthed L

Far Away- Nickelback Lyrics

~ Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore...
~ So far away, far away for far too long..

What a miracle Friday ~

10^th May

What a miracle Friday~ I mean, the miracle doesn’t work today and I don’t wanna know why. As long as I know that I’m quite tired today, probably because I have used up my energy to teach in 2 hours ++ class last night. I do not have so much work to do today and plan to sneak out early and go straight to my aunt’s home in the city. I’d rather spend time with my lil sweet innocent cousin and I heard both of my sisters will stay overnight there, too.

Great! It’s been awhile that 3 of us didn’t spend time together. I heard from mom that my lil sis loves the pashmina shawl I bought for her. Ahh.. these people will never dare to tell me directly even though I’m not ghost anyway. Even how hard I try to get closer to them, they (my siblings) will always keep a gap. Maybe I’m really a SWAN who stuck in DUCK’s family L It’s okay, as I’m used to it ever since I was kid J

9th May, Hectic Thursday

My eyes glanced again to the casio watch on my wrist given by someone early this year. Hmm how’s he doing? I know another primary reason he returnd to his hometown is because he just wanna keep a gap, or in other word to disconnect his life from me. I think he got suffocated. I always treated him as if he’s young kid who I couldn’t rely on and I always insisted to do everything by myself and he simple get fed up. Ahhh.. whatever nonsense and assumption in my mind, he would never be brave enough to explain anything to me but just left me with ‘goodbye’ message!

Damn… couldn’t sleep -.- it’s not that I’m missing him but we used to update each other, every hour, everyday.. and now… I must be strong enough As independent girl, I can survive without anyone. Yeahh! Sounds sooo EGO but that’s only way to motivate my broken pieces of heart.

Sam! We chat again, yeahh .. we can’t stop updating each oher now. Seems like we can connect well ever since we spent time together in Penang J If you read this, I just wanna thank you soo much for being my savior that time, otherwise I will be dying of boredom! 

5th May, Sweet but disappointed ending in Penang

5^TH MAY 2013

Oh my.. It’s half past nine a.m. I might be late for breakfast today! I confidently walk down the stair to see what’s for today’s breakfast. Honestly, I do not have any idea if my stay was included breakfast until I read the dorm room’s regulation which they stick on the wall last night.

The bar side of the lobby always attracts me to sit on it. The menu for today: sausage, plain bread, assorted flavor of butter, peanut and so on, coffee and bananas. It’s simple but I love it. I keep on thinking what should I do today to kill my boredom…a half-awaken with grey pajama western looking guy came over to prepare his toasted bread passing through me while I was busy thinking. Hmm shall I contact his father (my crush), which is not in town now but care my safety so much. Or shall I contact him who should be checking in the kk, sabah airport by now for his boarding time to penang. Urghh.. I need outdoor activities…

My eyes glanced on The pajama guy sat next to me at the bar, but I couldn’t assume anything about him.. all of sudden my Polaroid films which taken yesterday were slipped out of my unzipped bag and dropped on the floor as I carelessly put my bag on the bar chair. Damn… it’s over 15 pieces, what would this pajama guy say to see my clumsy behavior… I just collected it innocently and control my panic mode (>.<)

Well, I should have some courage to ask the unknown name of pajama guy just to break the ice.. it could be either fun or boring conversation, must take my only chance ‘ are you travelling alone?’ lol, amongst all the easiest question in the world, that’s the only question that popped out in my mind now. He turned his head and facing me and say ‘yess!’

what…? Yesss?? Sometimes I can’t control my excitement in public.. :D He’s solo traveler? I thought he might bring a partner with him, too.. ‘seriously, are you going on solo trip?’ probably I never heard of someone go for solo trip who stranded here except me, so I get excited if someone just like me!

‘Yesss…’ that unnamed guy repeated again and gave me sincere smile. He probably think that for many times he has to make myself clear. Then I started to ask more…more qs abt how, when and why wich needs him to give me more than ‘yes and no’ answer. haha and he seems to welcome my question & enjoyed listening to my part of story. I told him the main reason I came over penang and I found out that he has been staying in penang for two weeks. Wow… amazing, he seems like awaiting for someone here or just couldn’t leave penang. So as me, but I have to go back to work after 3 days.

We seemed to have good connection and spark coz we laughed a lot and enjoyed the sweetest breakfast. Only then I knew he is British guy who came to asia since 6 months ago, his intention to do some volunteer works in Thailand, have fixed and interesting goals in life and very humble even though he is holding bachelor of science. He is someone who loves biology subject more than anything. Finally, after one hour ice breaking conversation, we came up with the ‘plan the unplanned’ activity which is to the mall (upon my request anyway) haha.. and he seems like volunteering himself to be my host, not by force :p let me rewind 15 minutes before we made the decision to the mall..

I have running out of Polaroid films, so I asked if he knew any place selling the films as he has been there for 2 weeks. So, he said maybe we could find in the mall, centre of the town. Hmm I am not familiar with the place so would appreciate if he could lead the way since he wanna buy bus ticket to ipoh as well. Ahhh… so glad he agreed with my request coz I can’t accept any rejection for now. Sam, if you read this I would like to thank you again! Haha..

So, we walking down the streets and reaching the mall by 1145am, but why I feel hungry again. I used to munch snacks in small portion every 3-4 hours every day so I won’t feel hungry easily. Now, I kinda lose my energy by walking and talking as we really can’t stop talking. What a funny connection at the right time. Finally, we could find the right film shop which sells the Polaroid films and it really made me smiles all day long :D :D

We had delicious Hainan chicken rice in the street which packed with people and we hardly get the sitting place. We returned to the hotel by 1:30 pm, and sitting on the lobby. And I started to share some personal stories to him. And I get so excited and carried away with my stories until he told me…’ … but we haven’t know each other’s name’ very funny!! We have been talking for the whole morning and yet, we didn’t introduce ourselves and simply share about personal stuff? Only then I know his looonggg name.. and just call him sam! Haha, and just call me shukrina :P ohoo.. suddenly his father called me up (my crush) when I was in the middle of my sentence… just asking how am I doing, or just ensure my safety.. I’m so glad to have some caring people around me and I said I had companion and he sounds relieve… I wanna tell him that to inform his son that he doesn’t have to come over to fetch me as my companion is enough but I’m afraid it would insult his father so I keep the words. Can’t reject when this father which I called uncle invited me for a dinner tonight.. we have been communicate via facebook all this while and now I get nervous to meet him in person. Anyway, I just agreed as I must ‘pay back’ his concern during my stay in penang.

I thought I could get nap sleep around 5pm but my eyes couldn’t close even though my monkey bear keep hugging me to sleep. So I decided to just sit on the chilling corner and I found sam was there too. Again, we kept chit chatting until 7pm.

He & his bestfriend fetched me by 8 pm, and I thought it was gonna be fun.. it was drops of rain, but he kept telling me that all the shops are closed and I couldn’t go out of the car to snap some nice pictures in nice places. We had awkward and silence dinner, which never happened before… suddenly he asked me if I still keep the taxi driver number with me… I know the hidden meaning, which is he couldn’t send me to the airport next day… it totally ruined my mood. Why on hell he promised me at the beginning, kept insisting to send me even though I said no? as if he giving some hopes and now, it turned hopeless… and I turned quiet until reaching my hotel. I am afraid sam, who sat on the entrance would see my moody face and I just greeted him half-heartedly. He chased me to the door and asked if I have money…. What the heck! That’s not question or explanation I am hoping for. Then he said sorry and I just replied ‘it’s okay!’ and simply entered the door without turning back.

Sam texted me up again to find if I’m okay as my face turned soury and spicy.. I received his call & the guy I met on first day in penang at same time… I just wanna stay alone… I just hope that I could forward the time so I could just go to airport by now and boarding out of penang. I hate it! I always get disappointed ending… I cried for the whole night long and got panda eyes by early morning for getting just 2 hrs sleep.

What a reversal ending in penang, unexpected stories…